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 The Coach's Behavior Makes a Big Difference
By Jerry Norton
Nothing takes the fun out of a little kids’ football game faster than an ugly sideline skirmish between two coaches or between coaches and officials. In no time at all, what starts as a disagreement between two adults can escalate into a near riot. Sideline violence is much like a house fire. It starts with a small spark that slowly smolders, then increases quickly in intensity until it erupts, out of control, in full flame. Without the spark, there would be no fire. Coaches must realize they can be the catalyst to most sideline fires. Their behavior can ignite and incite others. It can also have the opposite effect. The coach’s conduct on the sidelines can create sparks or suffocate them.

A fundamental responsibility of any youth coach is to instill and encourage good sportsmanship in all members of the team. The coach must never lose sight of this. Players should be taught to play according to the rules and to respect the authority of game officials. The coach who argues a referee’s call during a game, in full view of the players, is undermining this authority and the kids learn very quickly to follow the lead of their coach.

Penalties are a part of football, called by officials to ensure that the game is played according to the rules. Most penalties are decisions of judgment by the officials and not eligible for dispute. For too many coaches, though, the yellow penalty flag is like the red cape of the matador to the bull, they see it and react. The best approach the coach can take regarding penalties is to simply ignore and accept them without discussion and certainly without dispute or demonstration.

Often times coaches will not only dispute a penalty called against their team, they demand to know which player committed the infraction so that the youngster can be promptly and publicly chastised. It is true that in the NFL, the referee identifies the guilty player, announcing his number and the infraction over the public address system and on national television, but such action has no place in little kids’ football. Players that incur penalties should not be singled out by the referee or the coach. They should remain anonymous. A sensitive and concerned coach will use this occasion to explain to the entire team the impact of the penalty and how to prevent it in the future. It is likely that most of the team needs and will benefit from such a reminder. In this way, all players can learn from the mistakes of their teammates.

If the coach is aware of which player committed the foul, he should follow up with that player separately to make sure the youthful offender understands what the penalty was for and how to avoid it in the future. Few kids can withstand, without emotional distress, the verbal and often personal abuse that is heaped upon them in situations like this by an irate or insensitive coach or coaching staff.
The attitude of the coach toward the game officials directly and dramatically effects the attitudes and conduct of the assistant coaches, the players and the fans. The coach who does not get excited or upset by penalties sends a positive message to everyone and minimizes inappropriate behavior on the field, on the sidelines and in the stands. By doing otherwise, the coach is behaving irresponsibly and is risking trouble.
The coach must also act as facilitator to prevent problems from starting. If there are potentially unruly or overbearing assistant coaches or parents on the sidelines, the wise coach will tactfully seek them out and remind them that they are watching little kids playing a game for fun.
In many instances, unfortunately, an official’s call during a game may have a dramatic impact on the outcome of the game. It is imperative that, in these highly volatile situations, the coach remain calm, cool and collected. I remember one very exciting game that came right down to the wire and was decided by a referee’s action. One of our teams was trailing by six points with less than a minute left in the game and had the ball on the opponent’s twelve yard line. The final play was a halfback rollout option pass and Jay, the offensive end, made a splendid catch of the ball in the end zone for what appeared to be the tying touchdown. Unfortunately, an official had inadvertently blown his whistle during the play. The play was properly ruled dead and the touchdown was nullified. As Jay came off the field with tears in his eyes, the coach, who was more concerned about his player’s feelings then arguing with the referee’s decision, took Jay aside and told him to cheer up, that he had done his job on the play and had done it very well, indeed. He had gotten open and had caught the ball in the end zone, just as they had practiced it. The coach pointed out that even though the referee didn’t allow the touchdown, no one could say that the play had not occurred. It had and Jay made it. I’m sure Jay will remember his catch as a highlight in his football memories, touchdown or no.
When an unfortunate referee’s decision causes your team disappointment and despair, try to remember Jay and the words of this coach. The kids are important, not the score of the game!

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