Problems, comments or questions about this site?   Please email us at  webmaster (at) coachjerry (dot) com

Baseball - To Play or Not to Play?

We live in a small Texas town where sports seem to be the only thing in life, whether it's little league or school sports. My son who's nine plays baseball (not very well) and he asked the other day why he and the other outfielders only get to play three innings when the infield (i.e. the better players) get to play the whole game. Good question. As in most Little League games, the outfield is reserved for the weaker players and my son gets bored since he rarely touches a baseball during his limited playing time and he only gets to bat once per game. As a result he acts silly and dances around and doesn't pay attention to the game. It is embarrassing to our family mainly because we know what the other parents are saying about his actions. We have talked to him and tried to explain that we think he is a great kid and we couldn't care less what his skill level is, but that it is not fair to the rest of the team for him to act like a clown. He is a great kid with a zest for life, but he is rather immature compared to his friends. Should he be allowed to continue to play if he can't control his silliness? He doesn't want to practice at home to improve his skills and of course without improving his skills he is destined to remain in the outfield and have limited playing time. My wife already worries about when he gets older because the school coaches are idiots and berate and run down the kids who don't play sports by labeling them as gay, etc. In small town Texas this seems to be okay with most parents. But not us. Still he will be in that environment someday. We enjoy sports but want our son to have fun. We don't holler and scream instructions at the games like most parents and try to assure our son that having fun is what the game should be about as well as learning more about the sport. As you mentioned more than once in your articles, winning seems to be everything these days. I don't care if my son plays sports or not, I just want him to be happy and accepted by his peers. At the same time I feel that if he is going to play that he should have a certain commitment to at least pay attention to what is going on. He is a little hyper and says he gets very bored in the outfield and he rarely touches a baseball during a game and only gets to bat once. He doesn't seem to get the concept of sports, or maybe it's the rest of us who don't get it.

Should we let him continue to play and embarrass himself and the team? These people take this stuff seriously and we've been asked why we don't demand more of him. Any suggestions you might have would be very much appreciated.

As you know, children develop and mature at different rates. His behavior and actions are not at all unusual and shouldn't be a cause for concern. He is simply trying to make his new experience fun and enjoyable, something his coach, apparently, has not been able to do.

I am more concerned about the actions of his coach. I suspect that the coach, like too many coaches today, is too focused on winning and is thinking very little about participation and fun for all the players on the team.

I also suspect that during practice, the coach spends very little quality time with the "less skilled outfielders" on the team. It is another example of the "play the best and the heck with the rest" mentality in action.

You should continue to encourage your son to pay attention to his coach and to try to do his very best whenever he is in the game. Let him continue to play as long as he is enjoying the experience. Don't overdo criticism of his immaturity, he will outgrow that all to soon. He is not embarrassing himself and you shouldn't be embarrassed by his behavior.

As for skill level, remember that Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. You said it perfectly, "he is a great kid and we couldn't care less what his skill level is". A great attitude but one that too many parents don't share. You can make up for his coach's lack of attention by helping him develop his skills yourself. Don't call it practice, call it "play". Play mini-baseball games with him and some of his friends in your spare time. Play "running bases", hit balls to him and have him hit them to you. Play "pitcher-catcher" with him as the pitcher and you the catcher. These things are fun as long as you keep critique to a minimum. Not only will this help him, it will show him how much fun the game can be.

I especially enjoyed your closing comments in which you said "He doesn't seem to get the concept of sports or maybe it's the rest of us who don't." You are absolutely right! The concept of youth sports should be fun, he seems to understand that and is trying to have fun. The coach and the other "winning is everything" parents have lost sight of that, including those
parents who say you should demand more of him. Remind them that he is a nine-year-old child, not a small adult. Perhaps the kids should demand more of the coach and those overzealous parents.

In closing let me say that you have the right idea about kids sports and perhaps you should be the coach of the team. Please think about it for next season. Thanks for the letter, I hope that this helps and please stay in touch.

Thank you so much for your response. It is refreshing to hear a coach espouse the ideals of what youth sports should truly be. I appreciate your suggestion that I might coach the team next year, but that's a difficult position to get in a small town where the same people coach year after year and there are only three teams. I would like to give it a try though. A couple of things I neglected to mention in my letter include the fact that my wife teaches at the school my son attends so it is even more difficult for her having to deal with the parents of our son's friends. Also, my son has a seizure disorder. I have seen him seize several times and I'm just thankful that he is able to play even if he acts silly and dances around. I have tried to instill in my son that he should be proud of the many gifts he has and not worry about sports if that is not where his interests are. Sports can and should be a good experience, but there is much much more to
life than sports and sports ability. Thanks again for your positive help and advice, and best of luck to you.