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Problems
with the "New" Baseball League
Here's an incident/question from a very concerned parent. There are also
a few follow-ups to the situation.
Recently my wife and I registered our son in a
second baseball league.
He is 12 years old and has done very well in his "first"
league, progressing very well in his skills, having fun, winning a
championship and playing with his friends. He seems to be consistently
within the top third of his peers in his abilities. We are thankful.
This new league however is a different story.
I have observed abusive coaching on his team and on other teams. I
calmly talked to the coaches on his team and was met with mild
indifference.
I calmly wrote to the League and at their request met with the League
and was met with hostility, defiance and a letter from their attorneys
to cease and desist from libel and slander or they would sue me!!! (You
can see why I'm not mentioning the name of the League!)
A few Saturday's ago my son and I observed a dad on a losing team
assault his son, knocking him to the ground. I (foolishly) tried to
intervene fearing for the boy's safety and then called 911. Neither I
nor my son had noticed the dad before.
The police came but were "unable" to find the dad or the son
moments after I had left the park and called the incident
"unfounded". They did, however, talk to an "independent
witness" who said the boy did not hit the ground and that the
parent was simply trying to "get the boy's attention"!
A follow-up to 911 minutes later had told me I could leave the scene, so
I did.
The investigation drags on. It is more than three weeks since and the
police have apparently not followed up on the leads and do not even know
(or so they say) who the dad is. I've heard through the grapevine that
the dad is a well-known football coach at a local high school.
My wife is afraid of repercussions, but I'm not willing to let this go
as I believe what the dad did is deplorable and what the League did to
create the incident, equally, if not more so. In addition to finding
another League for our son(!), what else can we do?
My goal is to send an urgent widespread message to sports organizations
and participants that they need to get their act together ASAP. Bad
parenting creates bad coaching creates bad future parents, the way I see
it.
Isn't it time to put a stop to the cycle?
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Answer: Your problem
is very troubling but not surprising. There are just too many incidents
similar to the one you describe taking place on athletic fields these days
- all related to the win at all cost mentality that is so prevalent in
youth sports.
I am not surprised at the coach's indifference and lack of concern.
Abusive coaches exist at every youth level. I would have thought the
league would have been more responsive to the situation and to your
concerns. I believe the way they reacted is absolutely irresponsible.
There is not a great deal one individual can do to correct the problems
that exist in kids sports, as you have seen. Good coaches and concerned
parents need to join forces to make an impact.
There is, however, one avenue that you may want to consider. Most youth
programs are run on fields owned by the community, town, municipality or
county. I would suggest that you voice your concern to the appropriate
town official (i.e. supervisor, mayor or county commissioner) and also to
the local media. Town officials have the responsibility to ensure
that the participants have a safe and positive experience. They should not
tolerate irresponsible behavior by the leagues that use community playing
fields. They also have the power to restrict offending leagues from
utilizing
community fields if leagues do not comply with reasonable and appropriate
standards. The media can help by putting pressure on any "slow to
react" town officials.
Try to find parents who feel as you do to join with you in presenting
case. I can understand how your wife feels about repercussions but it is
important to do what you can to effect positive changes. If you are honest
and straightforward in your concern don't worry about threats by the
league. I certainly would not allow my son to be involved in with a group
of adults with the mentality you describe.
You should take your son out of this league and find one that promotes
sportsmanship and healthy competition. Contact the National Alliance for
Youth Sports at NAYS.org for associations in your area that are members. I
believe you can find a league that can provide a positive experience for
your son. You may have to volunteer as a coach or an assistant coach, and
if you could that would be a very good thing. We need all the good coaches
we can find.
I hope this helps. Ignoring problems won't make things any better.
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Follow-up #1:
Thank you for your excellent message
and for the referral to the nays.com site. It looks very worthwhile.
The City Council has a televised
meeting Tuesdays at 6pm with public comment. I may prepare something,
run it by an attorney, attend and present with written copies to the
members. I also have contacts at the local newspaper.
I sure would like to find a lawyer
who shares our passion for the youth side of youth sports who could look
over or listen on the phone to my letter before I read it to the
Council.
I'll keep you posted. If you have any
additional ideas, please feel free to send at any time, in any size...
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Follow-up #2:
Wednesday of this week when I
attended my first game in my son's league since the slapping incident. I
was approached by an angry dad and asked to step behind the bleachers to
talk to him.
Fearing an attack of some kind I had
brought a cassette tape recorder with me and turned it on prior to
speaking with him.
He threatened to do me physical harm
and made several other false accusations and threats which were recorded
on the tape.
It seems someone turned in his name
instead of the slapping dad's name to children's services who contacted
him [the names of the two individuals apparently sounded similar]. I had
spoken only to the police except for a brief C/S (children's service)
research call at the start of the season when things started to look
strange in the League. [to learn such things as] How do I report? What
do I report? When do I need to call the police, etc?
My wife and I are in debate about
whether to file a police report. I predict it will shut him down. My
wife fears it will enrage him and he will hurt us. I'm not sure what the
police can actually [do] to protect us.
This is a [terrible] situation, don't
you agree?
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| I do indeed. |
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