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Exceeded the Limits of Recreational Soccer?

I have a 9-year-old that excels on the Recreational Soccer level. The player has been attending individual skills training for about 1 and 1/2 years. The skill level and ability to utilize skills learned outside of a game situation are great; can and will do any and all skills in a training
setting better than most; does not utilize the skills in a game situation; is now playing up in soccer (larger field, older players); seems intimidated and almost always loses the ball at this new level; playing indoor only. Consistency in level/type of play not there... some games - the player is outstanding - some games - looks like he has never played before. Some games pushes ones self very hard - some games it appears there is no desire.

HELP! Suggestions appreciated on how to encourage consistency on level of play - that most other players at this level are exhibiting regularly.

The first thing to remember is that fun and participation should be the basis of a positive sports experience for every child. While kids are having fun and participating they also have an opportunity to develop specific skills - both sport specific skills (kicking, dribbling, positioning, etc) and social/life skills (team work, accepting instruction, following directions and interaction with others).

Children all develop different skills (both the sport specific skills and the social skills) at different times/ages and at different rates. Players typically learn by trial and error, a process that involves practice and patience as well as making and learning from mistakes. Throughout this process they measure themselves against their peers, build up confidence in their capabilities and develop and refine their skill level.

Some kids learn quickly while others need more time and more (or different) types of instruction. It is very important that the child's experience remain enjoyable and positive throughout the learning process because continual frustrations and failures could turn a child away from a sport. For example, in pairing young players at practices and in games, major mismatches should be avoided so that players of more or less comparable skill workout and compete together as much as possible.

Coaches and parents should consider these things when dealing with young players. To often adults expect more from a player than the player is able to provide at that particular time in his young life. That doesn't mean the player will not develop in the future. Michael Jordan couldn't make his junior high school basketball team.

It sounds to me like you may be expecting more from your son than he is able or prepared to provide at this particular stage in his development. You should not try to relate his performance to his chronological age or the chronological ages of other players. You believe he has developed the skills to play well in games but apparently he is not able to consistently do those things in games. I suspect that this is a matter of confidence, or more correctly a lack of confidence on his part. You indicated that he is now playing "UP" (i.e. he is playing at a more advanced level). I assume he is playing up because as you say,  his "skills in the training setting were better than most" other players.

I have to say, very emphatically, that I do not believe most young children should play up in any sport. While there may be some very unusual circumstances where playing up might be appropriate, most often it is not a good idea. Children need to have the opportunity to develop and mature, to excel, to feel good about their performances and to develop and build confidence in their abilities. If they are pushed in to more advanced and more competitive situations before they are ready physically and/or emotionally they will suffer. Usually, the adults are the ones who favor children playing up. It becomes a matter of parental pride that the child is playing on an elite or advanced travel team. It is the parents' expectations that take over. It may not be what the child wants or should be doing.

I suspect that your son would not be having the problems you've described had he continued playing "rec" soccer. Was there a compelling need to have him play up?? After all he is only 9 years old. How bad would it be if he were the best player on his team? More advanced competition will come soon enough in his life if he is interested and ready to play at that level.

What does he think about playing "rec" soccer for another year or so?

He may think he's "between a rock and a hard place." Having played at the advanced level, he may think it demeaning to "go down" even though he probably would play better and more consistently in games and enjoy the experience more. He may be embarrassed or ashamed to have to play "down" especially if you have made playing "up" a big deal.

He may also be concerned about what his friends will think if he goes back to rec soccer. None the less that would be my recommendation. Try to encourage him to play and have fun and not worry about the outcome. He'll improve. Just because he misses a pass or makes a mistake in a game doesn't make him a bad person. Try to help him set achievable goals for himself and encourage him to always try his very best. If he does, then he will be a winner no matter what the final score of any game may be. You need to take the same position. Don't be overly concerned about his mistakes - he will learn from them very quickly although maybe not as fast as you might like. Still be positive and encouraging.

Let him play where there will not be as much pressure on him to perform, where he can develop the confidence that his skill level suggests he should have. If he continues to play at the advanced level, sensing that he is disappointing you by his inconsistent play, he may quit the game altogether and that would be a shame if he is as talented as you say.