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Too Young for Football?

Here is a question from Jim Durham on dealing with a player who might be too young:

I am a football coach for a small, youth football league. The age level I coach is 7-8 year-olds, basically the first year players.

My question deals with players who are not physically and emotionally ready to play. Parents often don't consider this when they sign their children up, especially single mothers.

In my case, Robert (not his real name) signed up for my team. His older brother plays, so this was a chance for Mom to drop them both off. Robert was my second smallest child. He is a sweet kid. He really touched my heart with his kindness (in fact, he reminds me of my 4 year-old), however, during practices he was inattentive, constantly distracted, climbing on the fences, annoying to other players, etc. Normal discipline (20 push-ups, run a lap) had virtually no effect on him. During scrimmages and games, he was unable to have any impact, or execute the smallest responsibility. I tried everything I know. I engaged him as much as possible in practice and games, but often he'd just get hurt or get someone else hurt (by not even attempting to block his man).

My opinion (and based on experience with my own children) is that Robert may have ADD or ADHD. However, I am not a doctor and don't think it's my place to suggest that (it may even be against the law for me to do so).

I also think Robert was not yet ready for football. There was another player on the team who was smaller, yet he was attentive and gave it everything he had.

My action, throughout the year, was to remain calm and patient, though I must admit gritting my teeth a few times. I involved Robert as much as I could. At year-end, he said he had a fun year. I hope he comes back next year.

So here's my question. Is it inappropriate for a coach to suggest to a parent that their child is not ready for the sport they are signed up for? To say, "She/he is just not ready. A year will do wonders for their maturity." I'd refund the registration fee. Our team administrator told me, "We never turn back or lose a kid." That's a great goal, but what about Robert's situation?

Competitive organized sports are not appropriate for many very young children because participation requires structure, discipline levels, concentration levels, motor skills and a degree of physical emotional maturity that is beyond those of most 5, 6 or even 7-year olds. Children with problems such as ADD are always an additional concern for a coach.

Sports involvement for very young kids should be in a less structured, "play type" atmosphere with few complexities; one that permits all participants to experience the game and learn some of the basic skills.

Football is a complicated game, even in its simplest form and it is difficult to keep a young child focused on the essentials that the coach is trying to teach. Very young first year football players need an environment not usually found in most youth football programs; an environment with reduced expectations. Starter football for young players should focus more on fun and free play than on results, performance or competition. These elements are not usually compatible with the objectives of most youth football programs.

Having said all that, I think I would be treading on thin ice if I suggested that coaches drop a player from a team just because the player may be difficult to deal with or because he or she has ADD. Too many overzealous coaches are already looking to eliminate or discourage less skilled players and keep only the most skilled.

Your letter reminded of a situation I had as the coach of the 7-8-year old Mighty Mite Pop Warner team. Eight years ago, I had a young 7-year old boy, Bobby, who was a real flake. He was small and bright although quite immature and at times disruptive and difficult to control. I did the best I could to keep him interested in football and had to spend more time with him than most of the other players. He and I "stuck it out" for the entire first year. The next year he was eight and wasn't nearly the flake, but was still quite small. He was more focused and very coachable. He played his third and final year with me as an "older-lighter" player and had developed a great love of football despite his diminutive size. He continued to play Pop Warner football, albeit sparingly because of his size, for other coaches in our program for the next three years. He never quit or gave up despite limited playing time. Last season, after he turned 15, he played in our "Rec" league. He had grown considerably and had developed into a very good player with great commitment and determination. He'll play high school football in the fall. I like to believe that Bobby became the player he did because he wasn't turned off initially and was given the opportunity to mature and develop.

But back to your question. It is not only appropriate, it is essential that the coach discuss a player's situation with his parents. Every effort should be made to accommodate the young player if at all possible; to recognize his situation and deal with him as the unique individual he is. Adjust your expectations of him. Allow him to continue as long as he is not turned off by the experience. Try to give him as much "special attention" as possible and avoid putting him in challenging situations that he can't handle. I realize that may be difficult for you and your coaches. Try not to let things get to the point that the child is turned off and wants to quit. If you see he is not enjoying the experience after you have done everything you can, recommend to his parents that he sit out a year and come back the following season. As you said one year can make a world of difference.