Problems, comments or questions about this site?   Please email us at  webmaster (at) coachjerry (dot) com

Why Is My Son Sitting?

From :

We live in Port Orange Florida, and my 10 year old son plays baseball here. James is a very good player, but is having trouble staying in the lineup as much as he'd like. His coach has a son on the team. The team also has 3 assistant coaches who all have sons on the team as well. I can say, without bias, that my son is better than all of them. The coaches son plays second base and doesn't do that very well, but when he isn't at second, he's pitching. He walks the ballpark every time he pitches and their record when he starts is 0-3. When we started on this team, we told the coach that James has pitching experience (he throws pretty hard for his age) and is a shortstop. James has not been asked to pitch once, and has been stuck in the outfield when he plays at all. The kicker about this is, the coach is constantly telling me what a talented player James is! The reason I brought up the assistant coaches is, their sons have not missed an inning all season. We have 12 kids on the team so the coach rotates (unfairly) which kid will sit. The coach's son, nor the assistant coach's sons have ever missed an inning even though James is more talented. How can I approach this with my son's coach without being considered one of 'those' parents?

I believe recreational kids sports should be about full participation and should have rules requiring something approaching equal playing time for all participants. There are far too many "competitive" teams and selfish coaches that play only the better players (or in your son's case only the coach's sons) for the entire game.

You ask how to approach the coach without being considered one of "those" parents? My answer is be one of "those" parents and let the coach know what is bothering you and how you feel about your son's playing time. Coaches need feedback although many don't like it. Therefore it is important that you deal with the problem diplomatically in a well meaning manner. Don't approach the coach at the game. Make an appointment to meet with him away from the field without kids or other coaches around. Explain the problems his actions have created for you and your son. Suggest a different way of rotating players into the game and volunteer your help in making and implementing a rotation scheme that gives each player a some time on the bench and in the game. Try to avoid being combative and demanding but be firm that the current situation is not appropriate for many of the players involved. By the way, does your league have any minimum play time requirements? If so is the coach satisfying that requirement? If not you have additional ammunition to enforce a change in approach.