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Pee-Wee Football Woes

From Kristian and Mary:

My 10-year-old son is playing pee-wee football.  His team has about 6 coaches for only 19 kids (at least 5 have quit) because they all want to make sure that their own kid gets to play a certain position, such as quarterback or running back. Several of the coaches seem abusive, although most of the dads seem to think that is "just football."  Here are some instances I have seen at practice:
(1) Hitting kids on the helmet and asking if they left their brains out when they put their helmets on.
(2) Practicing for 20  minutes before stretching.  My son got a hamstring injury on the second day of practice.
(3) Telling kids that if they jump offsides one more time, they will "kick your butt."
(4) In the instance of my son, who is accelerated three grades in math, telling him, "You're supposed to be the math genius, can't you form a circle?"
(5) Telling boys that they run like girls or sissies.
(6) Yelling at my child by name, who at the time was ahead of about 5 or 6 others in running sprints, and telling him that if he was last, they would all have to run again (he got nervous, pushed harder, hyperventilated, and had an asthma attack).
(7) Pulling kids by the facemask or shoulder pads before yelling in their faces.
(8) Punishing the last kid to finish sprints with more running (always a lineman, never a coach's kid).
(9) Practicing 40 minutes in lightning after the school teams had all quit due to the lightning.
(10) Telling lineman to grab by the jersey if no one is looking.

These are just a few instances that have occurred, but they seem to me to be emotional and physical child abuse. Am I just an overprotective mother, or are all of these dads nuts? And what can we do about it since we live in a very small town where there are no alternative teams?

If you lived in my community here in Ponte Vedra, Florida, I would have a solution for you. A few years ago after years of coaching in Long Island Midget Football and Pop Warner football, I started a unique recreational program as an alternative to those "highly competitive" programs. This is a tackle football program for 125 players between the ages of 6 and 14 that focuses on fun, participation and skill development for every player.. Players receive instruction and playing time at all positions including the skill positions. Players play extensively because of small rosters sizes. We practice twice a week for an hour and 45 minutes and players enjoy practice as much as games. Balanced competition is a priority and our coaches coach all the children so they have no stake in who wins the games. Parents, coaches and players alike love the experience.

But you don't live here and from what you have said there aren't any alternative programs. The best thing you can do is try to change the mind set of the coaches of your existing group.

How many parents feel the way you do? You said that 5 kids have quit already and the team is down to 19. That may work in your favor when trying to have an influence on the coaches.

If there are 5 or 6 parents who recognize and feel strongly about the problems you have cited, perhaps if you joined together you could threaten to take your kids off the team unless the coaches change their ways.

Most football leagues require teams have a minimum of 18 or 20 players. If 6 more quit, the group might have to fold and I'm sure the coaches don't want that to happen. Check with the league officials on the minimum required players.

To achieve a change you should discuss your complaints with the group of coaches or at least the head coach. Let him/them know what they are doing that you disapprove of and what would constitute improved behavior. Unfortunately bad coaches don't agree that they are bad. They feel justified in what they do claiming discipline, team unity, etc. It's unfortunate that it has to come to this. From what you describe though, the coaches are indeed abusive, demeaning and insensitive. I would not allow them to coach in our program.

One other thing you might consider is to complain/explain to the community officials, the mayor, the town supervisor or the school board that controls the field the team plays and practices on. Most teams play on community owned fields or school fields. Explain your concerns that the coaches are abusive and request that field permits be lifted. It might help to write a letter to the editor of the local newspaper. Community/school officials may be more responsive if such pressure is applied.