Answer: Unfortunately, the things you describe happen all
too frequently in youth sports these days. Personally I am upset and
offended by this approach and by the individuals who use such tactics. As
you may have guessed, I am committed to eliminating this stigma from youth
sports and am campaigning vigorously to eliminate this despicable element.
I believe the bulk of these problems are macho
adults with over-inflated egos trying to achieve a transference of glory
through manipulation of their own or other children. Much of this behavior
is a result of the copy-cat
mentality of coaches trying to mimic the professional or
"high-revenue" sports coach they see on television.
The whipping boy approach is one of the elements
that is used to achieve the bad coach's objectives. Coaches who use
tactics like the ones you describe often justify their actions as a means
of instilling discipline and building character. I completely reject that
argument as "hog-wash." Fear is a common tactic used by so many
people in authority, not just youth coaches. It is too often a "way
of life" in the business world and in the sports world.
Certainly discipline is essential to play any
sport. We should be teaching children that there are rules in
sports, as there are in life, and there are consequences if rules are not
followed. However, arbitrary and capricious actions by coaches in
application of rules, consequences and expectations undermine the learning
process and confuse the children.
Youth sports provide a wonderful opportunity to
teach positive and valuable life lessons to youngsters eager to learn
them. Coaches who use fear tactics are not only sending the wrong message
to the kids, they are helping to preserve the "control-by-fear"
style of management as an acceptable way of life. There is no place in
youth sports for this style of coaching.
The most encouraging thing in your e-mail was
that after transferring, your athlete had a positive experience. That goes
to show that there are good coaches out there. We just need more of them.