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Kids Soccer Question

A long, but interesting question from Jason:

I started my 4 year old son (Dan) in organized soccer this year. Background: We practiced 4 times before the first game. I attended all practices and help the Coach as much as possible.  Dan listen closely to the coach and executed every practice drill very well.  He likes practice and has made friends with all the kids on our team and knows all the kids on our team by name. We even  ran simulated games with 3 against 3. He is very aggressive and dominated in these simulated games.  He/we were having some real fun!

He is in the 95 percentile in both height and weight. I have kept him very physically active since he was able to walk. He is faster, stronger and more intelligent that most/if not all the kids on his team and the teams we have played and will play, even the 5 year olds. He is a very aggressive child and is the leader in his class at pre-school and in his church classes.  He is a very strong willed child and a leader by nature. ALMOST.

Now the problem. First game, he warms up by running the field, dribbling, passing, kicking, throwing in, even defending/goalie (although we don't have goalies per se), etc. Now, the game is ready to start. The coach lines up our three players (Red Team) and puts
Dan in the middle and designates him as the main guy to begin the game and kick the ball. He kicks the ball with great force and it goes pass their front line (so to speak). He runs pass their front line and kicks the ball again (it is only maybe two more kicks to the goal).  Parents and Grandparents are yelling "Go Dan!".  I am in heaven. Now one of the other teams players (White Team) runs in front of him and kicks the ball. He stops and then refuses to play and will no longer run after the ball or even attempt to play. He knows exactly what to do and how to do it, but refuses to play. He just stands still with his arms crossed.

I (and his mother, both sets of grandparents, etc.) tried to verbally encourage him to play. The coach tried to get beside him and encourage him to run/play, but he refuses. I even got out on the field and tried to encourage him (and he would almost breakout and start but then would refuse if anybody got near the ball, from the other team). Because, he will not play I ask the Coach to substitute for him. From the sidelines, he watches attentively and even yells encouragement to his other teammates and each time he is asked to come into the game he readily runs onto the field of play.  However, when plays is started, he will not play, just stands still.

I ask him why he does not play and he replies because he does not know the kids on the other team (white) and does not want them to kick ball. Nobody makes a big deal out of it and he has have the post game treats, plays with his friends, etc. On the way, home I inquire if he wants to still play soccer and he informs me that he does and that next time he is going to play hard, run, kick, etc. I say ok and leave it at that. Second game, same thing, same reasons and after the game is once again says that the "Next Time" he going to play, etc. 

Game three is tonight. I will let you know how it goes but I suspect it will be the same.  Hopefully I am wrong.

Please advise on what we as parents and/or the coach might do to help get Dan past this.

Through your support, attention and encouragement, Dan has developed certain physical skills. Because of his superior physical development he is more advanced than other kids. He is very comfortable and enjoys participating and developing his skills within certain limits. But he is not comfortable beyond those limits. In a sense he is at the center of a fun world which revolves around his kicking the soccer ball. He doesn't like it when he has to share that world with kids he doesn't know. He is, in my opinion, acting just like any four year old who doesn't want to share his toys.