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Blaming Parents

A question from Samec5:

I've been reading several of your articles. As a coach yourself, don't you ever see the pressure put on coaches is being put on by the parents? I'm ready to quit coaching youth sports because I HAVE HAD IT with parents. First, we ALWAYS have to win, or I'm no good. Second, the parents have the kids involved in SO many other organizations they can't make practice and sometimes miss a game. Yet, if we lose, it's my fault? These parents are crazy... the kids are exhausted and turning off to everything. The thing that has me worried the most is that they are too tired to do homework. Parents are the major problem... not the coaches. We are volunteering our time to teach these kids while the parents (if they are there) are screaming about what we are doing wrong. GET OUT HERE AND HELP IF YOU KNOW SO MUCH!! What I have found is that we are glorified babysitters. Enough of blaming coaches. Place blame on the parents for a change. They are ruining youth sports. We are there to teach and have fun, the parents are there to WIN at no cost.

There is certainly a great deal of finger pointing going on - coaches blaming parents, parents complaining about coaches. As in most controversies, there are arguments to be made for or against both groups. It is my view that the adults (also parents of players) responsible for the organization, implementation, administration and the day to day operation of youth sports have lost sight of what kids sports should really be about and what is in the best interest of all the children who participate. As a result I have been critical of parents and coaches alike.

Too many parents today try to live through, or at least seriously identify with, the athletic accomplishments of their children. They can be demanding of their kids and their kids' coaches, believing that sports will be the easy street to college scholarships and multi-million dollar professional sports bonuses. They covet All-Star recognition, sports trophies and league championships at every level of their child's participation.

On the other hand, the unending litany of abusive, overzealous and insensitive coaches focused only on winning has reached the point where that type of behavior is the norm, not the exception.

To deny the existence of either "bad" parents or "bad" coaches is a failure to understand the problem. And if we don't understand the problem, how can we ever solve it?

I have been coaching little kids for more than 50 years. I know that it is possible to provide wholesome and beneficial sports programs for kids. All it requires is the commitment of adults who have the interest of all the players first and foremost.

As proof, I run a tackle football program for 125 players between the ages of 6 and 14 that focuses on fun, participation and skill development for every player. The program is offered as an alternative to Pop Warner football. Players receive instruction and playing time at all positions including the skill positions. Players play extensively because of small rosters sizes. We practice twice a week for an hour and 45 minutes and players enjoy practice as much as games. Balanced competition is a priority and our coaches coach all the children so they have no stake in who wins. Parents, coaches and players alike love the experience.