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Physically Abusive Coach in Girls Basketball

A baseball question from Stan:

My daughter played on a juniorr high basketball team and was a starter for several games, being switched out periodically. During a game, the scores were tied at the end of the last quarter and she had not played at all during that game. When the game went into overtime, one of the starters hurt her leg and had to come out. My daughter went in for her and missed two shots which caused our team to get behind and ultimately lose the game. Before going back on the court after time-out, the coach slapped her on her hand. It was very hard and hurt. I witnessed this and immediately went on the court after the game. I did not hit him and I did not use profanity but he categorically denied hitting her. I was reprimanded by the principal for making a scene in front of the students. (I'm a teacher at the school.) I warned the coach that I would not tolerate abuse and would file charges if it ever happened again. She stayed on the team until season was over and was not allowed to play at all. Since then other girls have told my daughter that the coach hits them too. The principal shrugged it off as if it was no big deal. Can I still file charges? This coach has a record of physical abuse but has coached there for 16 years.

Answer: Based on your description, I certainly would pursue this matter further. I would prepare a letter to the school board (send it certified mail/return receipt requested) providing the details of the abuse of your daughter by the coach. If possible try to find and include names of witnesses who saw the incident and their statements. Request an investigation by the school board and ask if the school had run a background check on the coach. Ask to see the results of the background check. These days, background checks should be routinely performed on all persons who deal with children. You are not out of line in pursuing this line of investigation and any other line of investigation that will help identify a child abuser.

You should try to understand specifically the basis and details for your statement that "This coach has a record of physical abuse..."

I would also check with other parents to see if anyone had made a video during that game that might have caught this incident on tape.

Also talk to the kids and parents of the players that told your daughter they had also been abused and try to get their names and statements - with details.

From what you said the principal apparently saw the incident and as you said he shrugged it off as "no big deal". Include that bit of information in your letter. It is a big deal!!

If you do not get a response to this initial letter. Then I would follow up with a second letter (also sent certified/return receipt requested) requesting a meeting with the board and the principal to discuss this matter and send a copy of this second letter to the local newspaper/media outlet as well as the appropriate town officials (mayor/supervisor and law enforcement official). I would consider having a lawyer present for any meeting that might result.

Unfortunately abusive coaches exist at every level of youth athletics. Communities are becoming more and more sensitive to the problem. But they must be made aware of incidents like this in order to take appropriate action.

This will not be easy on you or your daughter. The coach and the principal might react adversely, possibly by discouraging her participation on school sports teams or by perhaps by threatening you and your job at the school. But you have a right as well as an obligation to protect your daughter from abusive treatment in whatever form it may come.

The delay in reporting this incident will not help your case. So be prepared to explain why you have taken so long in reporting the incident. Still I doubt that the school board and/or the town officials will dismiss this incident without at least looking into it.

I hope this helps.