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On Making Varsity Soccer

My first instinct is to not approach the coaching staff at my child's High School. I've played ball and I've been subject to favoritism on both sides of the coin. My area seems to be highly politically motivated. If your not from here your not considered first and that is straight from the teaching staff. All that aside this is the deal.

My daughter has played soccer since she was 5. She is 15. Her team won the regional 3v3, placed in the state and went to the nationals. She played on the freshman team last year. Three of the four players that played with her (3v3 and traveling) were moved up to JV last year. Not her. No big deal, she played up a few games and played the entire game each time over the normal JV squad. The games she played up happened to be the only games JV won the entire season.

She thought she proved herself and was confidant during tryouts she would go to Varsity. The same three girls were once again moved up over her, plus 2 freshman girls. All of the girls, including Varsity and graduated seniors, were shocked she didn't go to Varsity. At least that's what they say. The coaches told her she was good enough to be moved up, but they need her on JV this year. This is a school where no one gets cut and seniors regardless of talent always make varsity, school rules.

Girls she starts over during traveling, which runs the entire rest of the year, now are Varsity players over her. Her goal since she was little has been to be a teacher and soccer coach. She is a brick on the field and other parents and coaches always rave about how good she is. She's my daughter, I know I have bias. But she has always amazed me. She won't quit but has lost her fire. The girls on her team are just not in her league as a player. They, the coaching staff, are ruining my child. I don't know what to do without coming off as an over-bearing parent.

Since high school is so important to her (and it should be), I would not pull her off the team. Instead keep working to keep her interest in the game alive while playing at the school. Encourage her to continue to always do her very best when she gets an opportunity to play, to keep herself prepared at all times and never complain or sulk over playing time even though it cab be very demoralizing for her. Her extraordinary skills, a positive and enthusiastic attitude and a great work ethic can ultimately overcome even the most uncaring and most insensitive of coaches. 

I would also take the time to put your feelings down on paper in the form of a carefully worded and well thought out letter to the coach involved, explaining the negative impact the staff is having on her. As a concerned parent you have every right as well as a responsibility to keep the school's staff current on the physical and emotional condition and needs of your daughter while she is in their care. Try to be specific regarding your concerns and also include suggestions the coaches might consider that would help to rekindle the fire in your daughter's participation. Positive feedback and encouraging words from the coaching staff can go a long way in keeping the morale of part time players high.